Twist Like Ropes: Hey Hey Are You OK?!

Week 5

Weeks 5-7 have been crazy busy. I haven’t had a lot of free time to update, so I’ll do it now! Week 5 was a week I would not like to revisit. It was the most emotionally draining for me. The one good thing I had pulling me through was knowing that I’d get to see Jeremy at the end of the week. I found out on Sunday night that we were doing CPR certification on Saturday (when Jeremy was here). It would be following the morning class, most likely in the afternoon for a couple hours. I was so bummed and upset. He was only going to be here for not even 48 hours and we were leaving this hotel/ yoga bubble for the weekend. I was so angry that it was cutting into my time with Jeremy. Not only that, but I felt robbed of my free time. We get very limited free time where we have nowhere to be and they were taking that away. On Monday morning I tried to get some answers, but the two staff members I talked to weren’t sure if we were doing CPR yet or not. Before the evening class I rode the elevator down with Dom (lead staff guy) who said CPR was in fact on Saturday, split into two groups. The groups were already decided and there was no changing. The first group would be at 11:30 and the second at 2:30. There was of course no identification of the groups yet either. Sadly, the CPR kind of ruined my Monday. I was in and out of tears both Monday and Tuesday (the lack of sleep didn’t help either…) and just so frustrated. I had been looking forward to Jeremy’s visit for 5 weeks, ever since I said goodbye. I seem to have great timing for the elevator. Tuesday night I rode down with the visiting nurse who was in town to do the certification. She was super nice and saw I had been crying. She asked what my last name was then assured me I was in the early group. If CPR had to ruin my weekend, I guess it worked out for the best. Looking back I am bummed I let it affect me that way. CPR was done by 2 p.m. and it really wasn’t that big of a deal, I still had a great weekend. I guess that is all “part of the process”. Hopefully next time, in similar circumstances, I’ll just let it be. Just go with it and know it can’t be changed and it’s not the end of the world!

Along with CPR, Bollywood came along and added to my emotional challenges. We had 3 late nights. Monday, Wednesday and Thursday were all late nights, as late as almost 4 a.m. There is still no heating in our lecture/movie tent. With temps around 50 degrees at night, it’s cold in there! We come prepared with pillows and blankets. Once the lights go out everyone drops. Many move to the floor to lie down, some lay across the now open chairs, and those unfortunate souls in the center near Bikram’s chair have to sit up and watch the movie. If he sees you sleeping or lying down he’ll be sure (or get someone else) to wake you up. Thankfully I haven’t had to sit right by him yet!

Posture clinic has been moving along quickly. They keep telling us how much further ahead we are then the last training (another reason why the weekend CPR bothered me so much). At the end of the week we were just about done with the standing series, a little over half way through the dialogue. The dialogue has been going well. I’m still working on being commanding. My latest homework has been to use more arm movements. I get up to deliver and my body just goes stiff! I’m nervous so I just tense up. I’m working to incorporate some movements, but it’s harder than it seems. When I get up to deliver I end up focusing on moving and lose my focus on the dialogue and students in front of me! I know I’ll get there though!

The yoga stress and lack of sleep this week has really played games with my emotions. I am now making the conscious effort to really try and let go of some stuff, just go with the flow and not to sweat the small stuff. There was a good quote from a visiting teacher; “you never look back and are glad you worried.” It was kind of funny, but so true. Worrying/ stressing doesn’t help any situation or make it better. Definitely something to work on.