Monday, October 18, 2010

Keep your eyes open, breathing normal

I usually keep up on my week as it happens, but I didn’t this week.  We’ll see how much I can remember because it’s a lot like Groundhog Day here.  Same thing every day, over and over!  It’s very monotonous.  I easily forget who taught the last class, what day it is, and sadly enough sometimes I’ll get into the elevator and don’t know whether to push floor 8 or floor 1.  I can’t even remember if I’m going up to my room or down to the tent, it’s bad!
Anyway, the week started rough.  I have really been struggling with my yoga practice.  My body is tired and I am just both emotionally and physically drained.  I was eager for Monday classes thinking the weekend of rest would do me good.  WRONG!  Both Monday and Tuesday classes were definitely low energy.  I was surprised to find my strong, solid practice decided to join me here in SD on Wednesday.  I’ve been doing well, not leaving the room and overall feeling OK, but I really felt like I’ve been half-assing it lately.  Wednesday was the first day since week one where I had the energy to do every single posture fully in the entire series.  It felt great and I finally felt like I was back to where I was at home.  Thankfully the energy stayed with me through the rest of the week’s classes.  We’ve been told over and over this isn’t the time where we notice our practice improving, its just about learning how to teach.  We’ll notice all the good changes after we’re back home, but it is still discouraging to not be able to do what you could a month ago.
We had some really great staff and visiting teachers this week.  We started with Mike from Chicago.  He taught Monday and was also in my posture clinic that day.  Turns out he grew up in the Detroit area too and his home studio was the Farmington Hills studio (mine!).  He now owns two studios in Chicago, which is awesome.  I’d love to go take a class there when I visit Danny and Emily next; he’s amazing with the dialogue.  We also had Diane Ducharme visiting from the Boston area.  She is amazing!  She knows the postures so well.  She’s been kind enough to stay after each class with us and help those interested with their postures.  Most are minor corrections, but make a world of difference! A lot of us have bad habits we need to break and the small corrections make all the difference in whether or not we are receiving the full benefits of the postures. We ended the week with some of our volunteer staff members teaching!  They too are here for the 9 weeks, so it was fun to see some of them teach.  The staff has been playing some music for us after class.  Lately it’s been dark when we get out of our evening class.  As we settled into final savasana on Friday night, they played Michael Jackson for us. It was a great way to end the week.  Everyone got up and was dancing.  The energy after an already energized yoga class was amazing.  Ben, a staff member was dancing around with a mini strobe light. Still quite confused as to where that came from and how it made into the yoga tent and into use so quickly!  It was such an awesome way to end week 4 (well, minus the Saturday morning class!). 
Posture clinics are going well.  I’ve been solid with my dialogue.  I’m still struggling with my stern commands.  On Friday I delivered my pose with a teacher growling at me the whole time. Not growling like a facial expression, actual growl noises the entire time!  He thinks I still need to be meaner!  I did it a second time and noticed the difference.  The dialogue is all commands, so I understand why it’s important to be stern and forceful.  I’m not too sure how to add more, but I’ll try today. I don’t really see myself yelling at the students like they want me to.  I think by the end of the 90-minute class I will be drained!  I understand and respect the feedback I get, but I also understand how we all evolve into different teachers.  It’s important to be yourself when you teach; it’s the only way you’ll have the energy to talk for 90 minutes straight!  I’m open to trying it their way while I’m here because I know it will bring me out of my shell a little more, but I also know I want to find where I’m most comfortable to teach!  I’m confident that’ll happen while I’m here!
On Tuesday Emily, her parents and baby Jack came to take me to lunch.  I had a little over an hour and a half, and it was so great to get out of the resort and spend time catching up.  It was just what I needed, a little dose of familiarity and family.  I really enjoyed it.  I teared up a little when I got in the car with them.  It was just so overwhelmingly comforting.  It meant more than I thought it would and I’m so thankful it worked out she was able to visit on her very short trip!
This was also our last week of anatomy.  We had a test Monday, which went well.  We finished the rest of the information/ systems of the body, and will have our “final” tonight.  We’re making progress here.  Boss is back this week, and will be until the end (minus a couple days here or there).  So the pressure is on for the remainder.  I am still enjoying the yoga and time I get to focus on myself/ my practice, but there are still times where I’m past ready to go home.  It’s amazing.  One day I’ll wake up loving everything and having the best time, then I’ll wake up the next day so mad and frustrated I’m still here and barely half-way done.  All part of the process I guess…

So, hopefully week 5 will be a SOLID week, with a strong practice and hopefully not too many late nights/ bollywood movies!


  1. What a roller coaster that sounds like. Getting the window into your BYTT experience is a privilege, though. Thanks for writing. Be well and take care of yourself!!

  2. Hey Carrie!

    Thank you for your blog :) I've only started practicing Bikram yoga two months ago, but I guess it was love at first sight, because since my second or third class I have been thinking about becoming a teacher non-stop! Unfortunately, career-wise it is not in the cards right now. So for now all I can do is practice, practise, practice, AND read TT blogs :)

    I just wanted to say HELLO, because I know we will probably meet soon! I am moving to the Detroit area in January, so FH will be my new home studio. I am looking forward to taking your class soon :D

    Greetings from Europe!


  3. PS: I wish you all the best for the remaining weeks in SD! You seem to have a very healthy attitude towards all the challenges. I have so so much respect for your accomplishments! You mentioned in your first post that you need your sleep. I am the same way, so TT sounds very scary to me. Sending positive energy, strength, calmness and lots of health your way!


  4. Hi Carrie,

    I met you briefly in the FH lobby before you left. I am going to SP training and it's been great to read your blog. You sound like you are really strong and doing very well! I wish you a great week ahead and will be following your posts. Take care.